Sports Bras and an Audience

So I’m getting changed in front of the girls.

I had just my bra on and was pulling on my tank top. I could see my five-year old staring at my belly.

I could feel insecurity creep up the back of my throat.

I never want my girls to think of my – or their – bodies as less than what it is… just right.

Don’t flinch away… I’m thinking …Be confident.

But at this moment, I am not feeling that.

I know if I look down, I will see a stomach that carried three children… two at the same time. I will see stretch marks and even notice that the right side is a touch more extended, a permanent reminder that “Twin A” leaned out more than her sister.

However, I push those thoughts away and think of all the good this stomach has done for me.

I am grabbing the “fake it till you make it” bull by the horns and attempting to model what self-love and body positivity looks like as I stand on the other side of the line called Conventional Size.

She giggled.

My hand almost involuntarily went to my tummy.

But I resisted, breathing confidence and standing taller instead.

“What’s funny, dear?”

“Mom, when you look like that, with no shirt on, and your tummy showing…” she giggled, “You look like Princess Jasmine.”

Well… will you look at that… yes, I do.